the love of the ‘forbidden’

Posted on December 5, 2011


As a convert to islam I did live for the dunya but alhamdulilah I have seen the error of my ways and reverted my life back to Allah. There is only one thing I have really had a problem with in Islam and it is marriage of a muslim woman to a non-muslim man. At 22 years old I have not really been too promiscuous and have always dressed rather modestly (I never felt comfotable with all my ‘assests’ hanging out there).But 2 years ago I met a wonderful man, who adores me and only wants the best for me as well as I for him(BTW he is the only man I have ever dated). sounds great right? er yea except, he’s not a muslim. He’s a catholic. Now you see my problem. Granted he is a non-practicing catholic (catholic high school turned him off of the church) but his parents a devout polish catholics. They were a little iffy with me being a jewish woman but I am not sure how they would react to my revertion, hence why I have yet to inform them of this. But my point is, my Fiance is always talking about us getting married, but he knows I wont even get married until after I get my bachelors. Me not being ‘able’ to marry him is something that really bothers me. I get sick to my stomach when I think of it because what am I going to do? Say “Im sorry ***, you’re a WONDERFUL guy, but I can’t marry you! No offense or anything, but you’re not a muslim so it’s forbidden.” It pains me and I make du’a to allah about this all the time on what I should do. I have started to study this in dept.

“It is He Who has sent His Messenger (Muhammad) with guidance and the religion of truth (Islam), to make it superior over all religions even though the Mushrikoon (polytheists, pagans, idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah) hate (it)”
[al-Tawbah 9:33]

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”

 So in al-Tawbah Mushrikoon means polytheists, pagans, idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah. But in other parts of the Quran Allah calls Jews and Christians ‘people of the book’ and they surely believe in the oneness of Allah! I know some people say Catholics are ‘idolater’ because of the trinity but what about jewish men? Do they not believe in the oneness of Allah? I will continue to make du’a about this pickle I am in and I am sure I am not the only one in this  situation. But I wonder why Allah has brought this man into my life If I am to just throw him out because of some interpertation of Al-Quran? And to make matters muckier, my best friend, who introduced me to islam, has asked for my hand in marriage. So I have a great brother who shares my love for this deen, who 5 years ago I would be jumping up and down saying “YES!YES!YES!” to in a heartbeak, but my heart draws me to a ‘forbidden’ man who loves and cherishes me and who I truely love and care about and would never want to crush his heart by telling him that I will not marry him even though I love him and I want to! Ya Allah, what are you up to? What am I suppossed to learn from this situation? If only I knew what to do.